This month, we have had the courage to talk about happiness. Something that has occupied philosophers and psychologists for centuries.
In this article, we summarize what is currently known as the keys to being happy, which, based on our experience, are indispensable elements.
If someone wonders how much of what follows is relevant to us, I would say that, in general, the Eka team is quite “feliciano” (happy). If not 100% happy, at least dedicated candidates. It would be difficult to accompany our clients down a path we didn’t know.
Let’s get to it. For those who read quickly, you can skip through the text by looking at the bolded words. For those who want to go deeper, you can click on the links that will take you to some books.
4 keys to being happy
1. Choose
According to Seneca, people, in their aspiration for happiness, try to discover what it is, and in doing so, each one finds a different path. This is the first clue. Each person has a different way of being happy, and to achieve it, they first require a process of self-awareness and, secondly, a life adjustment that allows them to live in alignment with their own needs and preferences.
Obviously, it is not easy, because society with its trends and the family with its prescribed scripts exert a great influence on the individual, who, in order to live according to their internal dictates, will have to make adjustments that, to a greater or lesser extent, will require them to pay some social or familial toll.
2. To thank
Another key aspect of happiness, long demonstrated by systemic psychology, is the importance of gratitude. In addition to the biochemical correlation that is known to exist between this emotion and our well-being, gratitude is an attitude that places the person with open arms toward life, ready to embrace whatever comes as a gift.
Achieving this involves an initial and primary exercise of gratitude toward one’s parents, thanking them for the life that would not have been possible without them. However, the family experience is filled with events, some of which are associated with very different feelings: pain, envy, sadness… There is only one path, no matter how difficult it may be—the path of acceptance and forgiveness. The understanding that parents gave what they had and did what they could. And as Joan Garriga says in his book “Where Are the Coins?”, accepting the coins they gave us with deep gratitude, to begin our own life with them in fullness. For some people (the fewer ones), this happens naturally, while for others, it requires personal work of awareness and, in some cases, therapeutic support.
3. Here and now
A third key, directly related to happiness, is the focus on the here and now, as advocated by the practice of mindfulness and defended for years by gurus such as Osho, Deepak Chopra, and Eckhart Tolle in “The Power of Now”. Our planning mind insists on looking ahead and yearning for “what’s next,” while our melancholic self dwells on the past. But as the masters say, everything happens in the present moment; living outside of it is a trap of the mind that prevents us from immersing ourselves with all five senses in the things life offers us at every moment.
4. To accept
Once again, it is the mind that, when we finally focus on the here and now, starts producing the “yes, but” thoughts. Yes, the walk is lovely, but it’s a bit chilly. Yes, the food is good, but they’re taking too long to serve us. Yes, it’s very comfortable here on the sofa, but the movie is weak. And as if it were a flashlight focusing on what’s missing or not to our liking, we start evaluating, without realizing that, caught by the ego, we have stopped enjoying what we already had.
The search for perfection, in addition to being utopian (I would even say arrogant), leads us to a constant resistance toward what is, toward what is already given to us, creating a conflicting and toxic dynamic. On the other hand, accepting life as it unfolds, with its imperfections and unexpected twists, brings us peace and connects us to a full and positive outlook.
We hope these reflections are helpful to you and encourage you to work on this path, as simple as it is powerful. After all, we don’t have another life than this one (as far as we know), so striving to be happy is not a small goal.
Are you ready to be happy?